Texts From The Institute
by violet-phoenix-rose
Summary: First Class era, semi-AU. What happens when you put a group of teenage mutants under the supervision of two people who barely know what they're doing? Complete chaos, of course. Misadventures, mayhem, and some seriously bad ideas. Rating is precautionary.
1. Getting Onto The Roof

**A/N:** inspired by the Texts From Xavier Academy tumblr and the Texts From Last Night website. Characters are obviously not mine. This is all First Class era and I apologize for any mistakes I make regarding personalities. I'm familiar with the movies, not the comic books. Enjoy the misadventures.

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><p><strong>(443): There's still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. I don't know how we got up there, but we need to get those beers down.<strong>

"Someone remind me how we got up there again?" the girl says. She's always going to be 'the girl' to me, even though she's the most assertive of us four. I'm not worried about what she'd do if she found out either. I mean, she's cool, but she's not dangerous. Just… crazy, I think would be the word for it. Or at least she could be. Someday.

"I didn't go up there, so I have no idea," Hank replies. I remember him trying to talk us out of something last night. Yeah, so it wasn't the greatest idea we ever had. Not remembering what we did does make things a bit more complicated - I'm not sure where the alcohol came from, but that does put a blur on whatever we did or did not do. Hopefully someone remembers, 'cause I don't.

"Isn't there a staircase or something?" I ask. There's a flat balcony-ish part of the roof, which I assume is where our shenanigans happened.

Raven glares at me. "Sean, even if there is a staircase, we're not using it. We're going to try something different."

"And you have plans?"

"Of course not. But I'm sure Hank will think of something."

As if on cue, Alex and I roll our eyes at the exact same time. We do not trust Hank's inventions, and considering that it will be one of us who gets forced to go up there, I think we have good reason to be a little cautious about this. I sure don't want to try anything that only has a fifty percent chance of working, and I'm sure Alex feels the same.

"What, you don't trust him?" Raven's still glaring at us. She's good at that. Alarmingly good at that.

"No," I say. "Remember when I crash-landed on that bush? Trust does not get re-earned that quickly."

"Okay, fine. If you two are so convinced you're going to die, I'll do it. But you're spotting me, 'kay?" We look at her blankly. "You're going to be on the ground below where I am. If I happen to fall, you're catching me, or at least you'd better try." We nod our heads. The first rule of everything - what Raven wants, Raven eventually gets, and may God help the idiot who doesn't take a hint.

Two hours later, we're back outside. Raven is suited up in some sort of climbing equipment, or at least I'm pretty sure it's climbing equipment. Alex and I get to "spot" her - we're still not sure what that means. Technically Hank's supposed to be with us, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be too worried about the destruction of his latest gizmo - or of Raven, if worse comes to worse - to be any use if something goes wrong. It's times like this when I wish one of us could actually fly. That would make our lives easier. As it is, we're stuck with climbing gear and a girl who's going to outdo all three of us guys. This won't end well.

She starts climbing the wall. I'm not entirely sure what she's supposedly doing, but it's a complicated-looking setup she's wearing, so I start to think it'll work. _She_ thinks it'll work, and I am blaming her if it doesn't. Blaming Hank would be too easy. Alex and I take no responsibility for any of this. It was probably our idea to go up on the roof last night, but it wasn't our idea to retrieve things.

Eventually she reaches the top of the house. The three of us on the ground breathe a sigh of relief. Getting down will be the scarier part - maybe not for her, but for the rest of us. If she falls, there will be explaining to do, explaining I doubt anyone _wants_ to do.

"All clear," she calls, and without any further warning, stuff starts falling from the sky. I realize later that the things in question are bottles, both empty and full ones. None of us have the mental presence to catch them. By the time I process what's going on, there's broken glass all over the driveway. Thankfully, it doesn't hit anyone.

"You guys ready to catch me?" Raven yells. None of us respond. I think we're all terrified she's going to jump. That isn't what happens, thankfully. She starts climbing down the side of the house, moving slower than when she climbed up. She's going to be okay. And sure enough, she is.

After a few minutes, she's back on the ground. She starts slipping out of her climbing gear, completely oblivious to everything else. "Well, that was easy," she says once she's done.

Alex and I exchange a look. Easy? Good thing there's only one of her…


	2. You Ended Up Where?

**A/N:** thanks for all the love and reviews. I've decided that this fic will mainly center around the kids because it's so much easier to picture them doing stupid stuff, but don't worry, Erik and Charles will make appearances. Just… not yet. For now, enjoy more teenage bad judgment and awkwardness.

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><p><strong>(202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.<strong>

I'm in my room, staring at the window, when Alex and Sean barge in. I don't think either of them have accepted that I'm a girl, because they haven't learned to knock before they enter a room. Either that or they just like annoying me, which is entirely possible. The fact that I'm the adventurer of our group doesn't make things any better. Alex does stupid stuff and Sean can be talked into that, but I'm the risk-taker. Therefore, I'm an easy target… or something. I don't get them.

"Raven, phone for you," Sean says, obviously gasping for breath. "It's important."

"Who the hell would call me?" I ask, glaring at them. "And more importantly, where the hell is Hank?" I can't blame him if he's had the sense to duck for cover, but almost instantly I know that's not the case. Confirming my suspicions, Alex and Sean send each other what I am starting to refer to as The Look. In their case, The Look is their signal for 'the crazy girl is going to kill us'.

"Uh… well… those questions have the same answer," Sean says. He is actually terrified of me, and if it weren't for the fact that I'm panicking a little bit, I'd be amused. "Just don't kill me. Not my fault."

I follow them out of my room and down to the end of the hallway. For some reason, there's a phone there. Despite the fact that I've lived here for a while, I don't understand some things, and the fact that there is a telephone at the end of that particular hallway isn't something I get. It sure is convenient, though. "Hey," I say, putting the phone to my ear. "Where are you?"

"Miami, apparently." It's funny how you can recognize someone's voice after only knowing them for a few weeks. Then again, if you spend those few weeks in near-constant contact with that person, I guess things are a bit different. And so help me, if there are two people in the world capable of that form of panic, I am going to shoot myself. "I'm not sure how that happened."

"So which of the idiots _is_ responsible?" I ask. It's a legitimate question, because either Alex or Sean picked the wrong target. I have the protective-younger-sister routine down, and protective-almost-girlfriend isn't too much of a jump from that. "Please tell me you have some idea, or else I'm going to go after both of them."

Alex and Sean, currently standing about six feet from me, give each other The Look again. They're smarter than they look… barely.

"I don't know," Hank says. It's not a good connection, and it takes focus I don't normally possess to figure out what he's saying. "What I do know is that I have a ticket to Argentina and no idea how I got that either. Would you mind asking either of them if they have any memory of last night?"

"Sure. Hang on." I put my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and turn towards the guys. "Do either of you two remember last night?"

"Other than the part where we found a bottle of alcohol… no idea," Sean answers. He still looks terrified.

"Yeah, that's about where my memory stops," Alex adds.

I put the phone back up to my ear. "You still there?"

"Affirmative."

I roll my eyes. "Alex is responsible for this. I'm probably going to dropkick him off the roof… or try to. You can figure out how to get back here, right?"

"Yes."

"Good. Do what you have to do. And next time… you know better than to listen to those two."


	3. A Diversion At Three In The Morning

**A/N:** I took a few more liberties with this one than with some of the other ones. It was originally going to feature a paintball gun, but I decided darts were a bit more low-tech and therefore more plausible. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>(513): Walmart's paint section shouldn't be open at 3 AM<strong>

"We need to do something," Raven says. It's exactly 2:39 in the morning and the four of us - Raven, Alex, Sean, and myself - are still awake. Okay, Sean's been asleep on the couch for twenty-six minutes, but he's at least in here, here being a sitting room on the first floor of the house. It figures that the person least likely to do something reckless is the one who isn't in the position to do something reckless. That's the kind of luck I tend to have.

"What do you want to do?" I ask. Bad question, I know. Raven's a beautiful person, but her idea of fun is a bit… dangerous. It's worth pointing out that her bad ideas usually counteract Alex's bad ideas, but she's still a force to be reckoned with.

She bats her eyelashes at me. I know exactly what she's thinking, and I know I need to come up with another idea - fast. Preferably something that involves physical distance. I don't mind her interest in me, but I _do_ mind the way that interest manifests itself… and, for that matter, the speed at which she's taking things. I do see her that way, but I'm a lot more cautious about it than she is. Then again, she seems to have some idea what she's doing, whereas I… don't. "Oh, I can think of things," she coos. "But nothing that could involve those two."

Suddenly, it hits me. I've been meaning to test something for a while, something I've made. Now, I know that messing around with sharp objects at unearthly hours of the night is probably the dumbest thing I've ever seriously considered, but it's either that or having to literally push Raven away from me, so it's worth a go. The thing in question is a set of darts I've made. They're just like normal darts, except they can be filled with a liquid that will be released upon impact. I'm still trying to decide what I'll put in them, but it stands to reason that a harmless substance would be good for a test run. It needs to be something that will leave a mark, though. That presents a small problem. Then again… maybe it's not a problem.

"Raven," I say, "Do you know if there is a supply closet of some sort on the premises?"

She looks at me like I've just sprouted an extra head. "What do you need?" I can't imagine what's going through her head right now. I think she expects this kind of thing from me, but given the late hour, even I have to admit it's a bit odd.

"Paint. I don't care what color or what type of paint it is."

The glaring ceases. "C'mon. Let's leave these two here. I think there's some paint in the basement… left over from my last attempt at decorating."

I can't imagine her trying to decorate anything, ever, but I don't point this out. I'm smarter than that. Instead, I do the smart thing and follow her out of the room. Alex, I realize now, has also spaced out. That's a good sign. Alex and sharp objects are not a good combination, and I don't feel the need to explain property damage to Mr. Xavier. I would be the one doing the explaining, regardless of who did the damage. That's my role in our group. The other three do crazy things and I pick up the pieces. So far the only exception has been what Raven refers to as the airplane incident, but we've all decided to pretend that never happened. I'm ninety-seven percent sure Mr. Xavier and Mr. Lehnsherr don't know that happened, and for the sake of keeping things calm, I'd prefer to keep it that way.

I follow Raven down a flight of stairs and through a dark hallway. We're in the basement now, which means I have only the vaguest idea where I am. Raven, however, is as confident as ever. It makes sense - she's lived here for years; I've lived here for about a month. She knows where she's going and I'm going to follow her.

She stops in front of a door that doesn't look like it's been opened in a while. "There should be some stuff in here," she says. "Should be. If there's not, we can bug Charles tomorrow."

I have no intentions of using that backup plan, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I open the door and flip on the light switch. The room turns out to be a cavernous junk room. There's no limit to what's in here, and I make a mental note of the room's location. Odds are there's a lot in here that I can use for future creations. At the moment, though, all I can focus on is the stack of paint cans just six feet away. "Perfect," I say, walking over and grabbing one of them. Color doesn't matter - all that matters is that the can contains paint.

About twenty minutes later, Raven and I are outside. She found flashlights somewhere, which makes this a whole lot easier. "Are you sure we won't be in any kind of trouble?" I ask her. Her idea of an acceptable target is a hedge that, judging by what I know about plants, has been on the property for at least thirty years. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

"Worst case scenario," she says, "we actually manage to hit the thing. Doesn't matter. It's ugly and doesn't need to be there and maybe Charles will take a hint if it's covered in pink paint."

"Alright, here we go." I throw the first dart at the hedge… and miss. Oh well, at least we've been through the 'how did this bizarre object get on the driveway overnight?' routine before, and compared to some of the other incidents, mint green paint is absolutely nothing.


	4. What Did We Do Last Night?

**A/N:** Sorry this one took so long. It's Alex's turn in the spotlight…

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><p><strong>(954): I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Although I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.<strong>

**(727): More like the Hardy Boys 'cause it's kinda like a team effort.**

Another morning, another night that would be an awesome memory if I could… you know, _remember_ it. I like piecing together what happened, but there's only so much detective-ing you can do before things get totally out of hand. Doesn't help that even though we've got this Four Amigos thing going on, I'm the only one who has any fun. When I first met Raven, I thought she'd be a total bombshell. What she ended up being is the most impulsive damage-control expert in the world. Those two traits shouldn't go together as far as I'm concerned, but it's a lot more possible than it sounds. Sean can be talked into stuff, but he freaks out easily. Weirdly enough, he's my closest friend in this place - but then again, I didn't have too many options. As for Hank… well, he's always on the sidelines, watching the rest of us look stupid and coming up with gadgets to make that easier. He needs to get a hobby that involves interacting with people. Also, he needs to stop making those goddamn puppy-dog eyes at Raven, but that's an unrelated problem. For now, let's just point out that he's the second most intelligent person I've ever met and also among the most boring.

This morning we start out in the dining room. Having no idea what we did is more fun than it sounds, but it ain't easy. As always, I'm sure Hank knows exactly what happened, but I think he likes watching us muck it out. He always knows what happened, except for that one time he almost ended up in Argentina. Getting him to participate in our madness was hard to begin with, but now it's almost impossible. Yeah, so he ended up in a different country - big deal. At least he didn't get hurt. He needs to get over that. Hell, he needs to see a shrink. No one can be that uptight without having some legit issues.

"Okay, do either of you two have _any_ idea what happened?" Raven asks, glaring at Sean and I. That seems to be her default expression, which is just not okay. She's still gorgeous, but that's easy to ignore when she's trying to send you a death glare.

"No," Sean says quickly. "Other than the part where I woke up in the basement… no."

I don't remember anything involving the basement, nor do I have no idea how Sean might've gotten down there. I go down there to 'practice' in the bunker - during daylight hours, with Charles' supervision. Not at night. There is strange stuff in the basement and even I don't want to know what all of it is. Unfortunately, judging by the current intensity of Raven's death glare, she thinks I know what happened. God, girls are stupid. Especially that one.

"Hey, don't look at me like that!" I say defensively, taking what I think is a good battle stance. Not like I'm going to attack her, but let's just say I'm tempted. "I don't know what happened. No idea whatsoever."

"Did I mention that I was locked in the basement?" Sean says at exactly the wrong time. He's got bad timing - we've established that - but this is bad even for him. Whole new low as far as I'm concerned.

"Alex, if you know what happened, now might be the time to explain," Hank suggests. I know he's trying to be helpful, but if he tries to suck up to Raven one more time, I'm going to punch him. As I have been told by three different therapists, violence does not fix anything, but it might at least get a certain person to shut the hell up.

"Like I'm telling you, I don't know what happened. I remember alcohol and being outside and then I woke up in my room this morning. No memory of anything."

"Yeah, _sure_," Raven says. She doesn't believe me, and that means that Hank doesn't believe me either. I don't care that he tries to be neutral - sucking up to her isn't going to get him anywhere, no matter how cute he thinks it is. "Alex, there is an explanation for this."

"I know there's an explanation," I say, shaking my head. "As for what it is, though… your guess is just as good as mine."


End file.
